Tuesday, March 24, 2015

TUESDAY - TOPIC SENTENCES FOR ANIMAL REPORT

Tonight you'll get the opportunity to work on topic and closing sentences. Think of each paragraph as a train. The topic sentence is the train's engine. It's the main idea that all the other sentences are connected to. The sentences in the body of the paragraph are the boxers. Think that the caboose is the closing sentence.

Directions.
1. Read each of your topic sentences for each paragraph in your animal report.
2. Copy and paste at least 6 of them on to Blogger. You choose.
3. Rewrite each topic sentence to make them a little more interesting.
4. Copy and past eat least 4 closing sentences.
5. Rewrite each closing sentence to make them a little more interesting.

For example:
Original topic sentence: Babysitting young kids is interesting
New topic sentence: One should always be prepared when babysitting young kids!

Original closing sentence: Always expect the unexpected while babysitting
New closing sentence: No matter how prepared you are, babysitting is a job not for the easily exhausted.

SEE THE DIFFERENCE? NOW YOU TRY.

27 comments:

  1. old:I think the golden eagle is awesome
    new:I think the golden eagle is a fascinating creature
    old: Golden eagles habitats are...
    new: The Golden eagles fascinating habitats it needs to adapt to are...
    old: Some features that the golden eagles has are
    New: Some awesome features that the golden eagle has are

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The golden eagle sounds interesting. :)

      Delete
    2. I agree with General. Great Job!

      Delete
    3. old:Some things that the golden eagle eats are...
      new:Its pretty amazing on what the golden eagle eats and these are some...
      old: How does it eat?
      new: How does a golden eagle eat its prey
      old:How does it adapt to its habitat?
      new:What are its habitats and how does it adapt to it?

      Delete
  2. Chapter 1:
    Beginning: The snow leopard is one of the animals in the group of the big cats.
    New Version: Have you ever took the time to wonder where the snow leopard in your local zoo comes from?

    Closing: They mainly prefer the high, rocky areas in mountains.
    New Version: The snow leopard may be able to live in zoos, but they prefer rocky mountains with snow.

    Chapter 2:
    Beginning: Snow leopards can be many sizes and heights.
    New Version: Have you thought about the size of the adorable face of the snow leopard?

    Closing: The adult is around 3-4 times the size which is 4-5 feet long and two feet tall!
    New Version: The adorable face isn't even that big in reality.

    Chapter 3:
    Beginning: All snow leopards are carnivores.
    New Version: Did you know that you are an omnivore? Snow leopards are carnivores meaning they only eat animal flesh.

    Closing: Did you know that a snow leopard will also eat grass and twigs?
    New Version: (I actually really like that sentence but it doesn't sound like a closing) This may sound weird, but snow leopards eat twigs and leaves too!

    Chapter 4:
    Beginning: Well, you must be wondering how do snow leopards even survive the mountains when other cats wouldn’t.
    New Version: Think for a second, how do snow leopards survive that high without air tanks?

    Closing: A snow leopard would curl up like a kitten and wrap it around themselves.
    New Version: Snow leopards are cats, so they should act like them too. They curl up like a ball of fur and wrap their tails around them.

    Chapter Five:
    Beginning: Male snow leopards usually live alone, unless they found a mate but that doesn’t last that long.
    New Version: Mainly all male snow leopards live alone, unless they are on a honeymoon journey with their mate but it barely lasts.

    Closing: That means that their prey is totally dead to be.
    New Version: The goose is cooked for their prey like the adorable pika.
    (looks like a rabbit but has mouse ears)

    Chapter 6:
    Beginning: Snow leopards mating season is in January, and ends in March.
    New Version: Think on when the love comes in, and when the adorable faces enter the world.

    Closing: They have about 15 years left of their life, so they have 18 years to live.
    New Version: 18 years of roaming the mountains, so short but worth it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree. TWINS!!!!! Your sentences were very detailed!

      Delete
    2. Yep, me too. TRIPLETS!!!! Your writing is so........ great!!

      Delete
  3. Starting sentences

    old:Did you know that anacondas can lose up to have their weight during birth.
    new: Did you know that a mother anaconda can lose up to half their wight during birth.
    old: Anacondas are the second largest snakes in the world.
    new: Did you know that Anacondas are the second largest snakes in the world.
    old: Believe it or not this animal does have enemies.
    new: Believe it or not this enormous animal does have some enemies.
    old: The green anaconda lives all over south america.
    new: The green anaconda lives in the dense rainforest of south america.
    old: Has your mom or dad ever warned about a snake in the bushes.
    new: Has your mom ever told you not to go in a certain place because of a giant snake.
    old: Like I said in the beginning of the book you probably won’t find one of these in your backyard
    new: like i said in the beginning of the book you probably won find a monster snake like this in your backyard.

    Concluding sentences

    old: Remember if you see one theres only one thing to do. RUN!
    new: Now remember if you see an anaconda in the wild theres only one thing to do. RUN!
    old: But don't worry you probably will not find one of these snakes in your backyard.
    new: But don't worry you probably wont find an anaconda in your backyard.
    old: They still have a mouth full of 30 razor sharp teeth.
    new: But that doesn't stop anacondas they still have 30 razor sharp teeth at the ready.
    old: The anaconda eats Tapirs, capybara, jaguars, caiman, and other large mammals.
    new: The full grown anaconda eats tapirs, capybara, jaguars, caiman, and other large mammals.




    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. WOW!!!!!! I LOVED THE NEW CHAPTER 1 SENTENCE!

      Delete
    2. Your conclusions and intro.'s were excellent!!! Great work!!

      Delete
  4. 1. Old. I think turtle need more homes
    1. New. I think the yellow spotted turtle needs better homes
    2. old. The turtles need need better food
    2. New The yellow spotted turtle needs to be given more appropriate

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. it really shows how much your sentences improved!

      Delete
    2. 3. Old. Very sensitive to water temperature
      3. New The yellow spotted turtles are very sensitive to the water temperature.
      4. Old. The size of these turtles can be really different.
      4. New.The sizes of these turtles can be fearly different
      5. Old. They live in lakes and rivers
      5. New. They live in and around the lakes and rivers.
      6. Old. You can see them on their docks
      6. New. You can see these turtles on their docks basking.

      Delete
  5. Chapter 1: Diet
    Old Beginning: What does the Komodo Dragons eat for dinner?
    New Version: What’s on the menu for the dangerous Komodo dragon?

    Chapter 2: Size
    Old Beginning: The Komodo dragon can reach up to 10 feet in length and weigh more than 300 pounds
    New Version: How big can the komodo dragon get? Know one knows but for right now the Komodo dragon can reach up to 10 feet in length and weight more than 300 pounds.

    Chapter 3: Adapt to habitat
    Old Beginning: How does the Komodo dragon adapt to their habitat.
    New Version: What things help the Komodo Dragon adapt to it’s strange habitat, and how does it help them.


    Chapter 4: Habitat
    Old Beginning: Komodo dragon mostly live in open grasslands and lower forests on volcanic island in Indonesia.
    New Version: What places on the map does the Komodo dragon live in? Komodo dragons mostly live in open grasslands and lower forests on volcanic island in Indonesia.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I liked your rewritten sentence for Chapter 4!

      Delete
  6. First Sentence=

    Chapter 1=Aye Ayes may not look too big, but for only being a couple of feet in length, they sure pack a big punch.
    Chapter 1 Redone= Aye Ayes may not be the largest creature you can name, but for only being a few feet long, they sure do pack a big punch!

    Chapter 2= Aye Ayes may be well known for their large eyes and ears, but they are also acknowledged for their diverse diet and hunting strategies.
    Chapter 2 Redone= Aye Ayes may be known for their large eyes and their "exquisite" fur, but they are also acknowledged for their diverse diet and hunting strategies.

    Chapter 3= Like most other lemurs, Aye Ayes live on the 4th largest island on earth. It is lush, green, and is off the coast of Mozambique. Can you guess where they live?
    Chapter 3 Redone= Like other lemurs, Aye Ayes live on the lush, green island off the coast of Mozambique. This island is the 4th largest in the world! Can you guess where they live?

    Chapter 4= No matter how big or small, all animals must adapt to their environment to survive.
    Chapter 4 Redone= No mater how big or small, fuzzy or scaly, all animals must adapt to their environment to survive.

    Chapter 5= Knowing how “beautiful” Aye Ayes are, you wouldn’t think there would be a need to communicate, right?
    Chapter 5 Redone= Knowing how (how should I put this) "beautiful" Aye Ayes are, you wouldn't think that there would even be a need to communicate, right?

    Chapter 6= With no adaptations to defend themselves from predators, they are practically defenseless against predators.
    Chapter 6 Redone= With no adaptations to defend themselves from predators what-so-ever, Aye Ayes have had a stroke of luck that they are even alive!

    Chapter 7= Aye Ayes are weirdly wonderful animals, but what adaptations and facts make them so unique?
    Chapter 7 Redone= Aye Ayes may be deemed as ugly, weird, or "interesting," but what adaptations and facts make them so unique?

    Conclusion= In retrospect, the Aye Aye may just be a ugly lemur.
    Conclusion Redone= In retrospect, the Aye Aye may just be an ugly, good-for-nothing, "what the heck is that?" lemur.

    Last Sentence=

    Intro= They may be on the front cover of Scholastic’s “Ugliest Animals” book, but these lemurs have many beautiful secrets hidden in there coarse black fur (no matter how crazy that may sound…………)
    Intro Redone= They may be on the front cover of Scholastics "Ugliest Animals" (good for them............), but these lemurs have many beautiful secrets hidden under their fur (no matter how crazy that may sound...........)

    Closing= If we keep killing the Aye Aye, it raises the question: Are we humans really that great?
    Closing Redone= If we keep killing the Aye Aye, that raises the question: Are we humans really that great?

    I would say that besides those, I don't really have any Closing sentences for Chapters. Mostly, the last sentences are captions or paragraphs relating to a picture. They are closing sentences, but they only share facts, not a regular closing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Very interesting. Like the NEW sentences you have come up with. *.*

      Delete
  7. Chapter 1:
    Intro old: The Capybara might be the largest rodent on the planet, but when young, they aren't as big as you think.
    Intro new: The Capybara is the largest rodent on the planet, but have you wondered how small or big young Capybaras are?
    Ending old: The little ones, always have some learning to do.
    Ending new: Remember, those little ones always need some teaching. Or else there will be some problems.

    Chapter 2:
    Intro old: What's on the menu today for Capybaras?
    Intro new: What's on the menu that Capybaras seem to think is their type of delicious food?
    Ending old: Now we know the menu Capybaras love, and how they eat their food.
    Ending new: Now we know what delicious foods the Capybara munches down, and how they eat their food.

    Chapter 3:
    Intro old: What movements do Capybaras do? Yoga?
    Intro new: So, what are the regular movements Capybaras would normally do in the day? Yoga, or maybee its……. playing soccer.
    Ending old: The Capybara might look like they can’t do lots, but you should never judge a book by its cover.
    Ending new: This animal might seem to not have many interesting movements, but thats not the true story. This animal has something up its sleeve, waiting to be shown.

    Chapter 4:
    Intro old: What ferocious animals attack the Capybara?
    Intro new: Could there actually be animals that attack the innocent, Capybara?
    Ending old: If you want to find an animal that has strategies to hide from their predators, go to the Capybara.
    Ending new: Want an animal that can outwit their enemies? The Capybara is just the right fit for you.

    Chapter 5:
    Intro old: We know all about their different features and young. But now we are going to get an inside look at how the Capybara adapts.
    Intro new: What is next? Oh yah! Now we are going to show you a little inside look special, about how the Capybara adapts.
    Ending old: This is why this animal, is so good at adapting.
    Ending new: This inside look special, explains why this animal can adapt, and stay alive.

    Chapter 6:
    Intro old: Do Capybaras bark? Do Capybaras snort?
    Intro new: Okay, so, what the heck kind of sounds does this animal make?
    Ending old: We can all say, some of Capybaras loud noises, are like humans screaming.
    Ending new: We can all say, the loud snorts and grunts Capybaras make, are like humans going around screaming!

    Chapter 7:
    Intro old: Where is the Capybaras dream home?
    Intro new: Is there any map that can guide me to the Capybaras home?
    Ending old: The battle of Human vs. Capybara continues…….
    Ending new: The action packed battle of Human vs. Capybara continues…… dun, dun, dun.

    ReplyDelete
  8. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  9. chapter 1
    Old one is what do lions like to eat?Why don't we look at what they like
    New version is Do you want to know what lions like to eat?Let's check out what they like to eat.They love to eat many things.


    chapter 2 Babby

    Old version How do Babby lions look like?they are small and grow alot.
    New version Babby lion? We could learn alot of cool facts Why don't we check out how Babby lions look like.



    chapter 3 enemies

    enemies? lions have so many enemies they hate sometimes they even want to eat them.They never liked them before.
    New version Who are the enemies? So did you evr want to know woh are there enemies why don't we check out so there may enemies is a Hyenas they still there babbies they kill them.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Introduction
    Chinese Fire Bellied Newts are amphibians classified as Pleurodelinae, a subfamily of salamanders.

    Looking at a Newt you might think “What species is that?”. Chinese Fire Bellied Newts are a subfamily of salamanders, called Pleurodelinae.

    Chapter 1
    The Chinese Fire Bellied Newt lives mostly in China.

    It is no surprise that the Chinese Fire Bellied Newt comes from China.

    Chapter 5
    Newts make excellent pets because the have very easy care.

    Newts can be excellent pets because as I will come to learn they are super easy to care for.

    Chapter 6
    It is hard to breed Chinese Fire Bellied Newts in captivity.

    If you are looking for a challenge for you and your Newt you can try to teach him how to do sumersault or try to breed him in captivity, both are very difficult.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Topic Sentences:
    1. old: The American Alligator eats, fish,turtles, birds, fruit, and various mammals.
    new: The American Alligator’s varied diet includes different kinds of fish, fruit and mammals in addition to birds and turtles.
    2. old: The American Alligator is the largest reptile in North America.
    new:Did you know that among all the animals that live in North America, the American Alligator is the largest reptile?
    3. old: The American Alligator’s talk to each other with a bellowing sound.
    new: The American Alligator has a unique bellowing sound when communicating with others
    4. old: American Alligators move both in water and on land.
    new: Another unique characteristic of this fascinating reptile is that it can swim in water and walk on land.
    5.old: The American Alligator has no natural predators.
    new: Since the American Alligator has no natural predators you would think it was safe from being harmed.

    Closing sentences:
    1.old:Smaller prey are swallowed whole and large prey are shaken into smaller pieces.
    new:

    2.old:Both males and females have an “armored” body with a muscular flat tail.
    new:
    3. old:A yelp is the sound they make when they're stressed.
    new: Stressed alligators make a yelp tone when they feel the need to express themselves.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Topic Sentences

    #1. Old: Let’s start with some basic fun facts!
    New: Let's begin with some fun basic facts that will blow your mind!

    #2. Old: Hungry for more! Read on!
    New: Hungry for more! Want to know what’s for dinner, a grilled cheese sandwich?

    #3. Old: Red Pandas are amazing creatures, want to know more?
    New: Red Pandas are amazing creatures, as you know, but don’t worry the fun isn’t over, we have much much more to learn about these fascinating animals, the red pandas story continues!

    #4. Old: Where do you think red pandas live?
    New: Where do you think red pandas live, do they live in swamps, wide open grasslands?

    #5. Old: Red pandas are extremely endangered, they are a part of IUCN!
    New: Did you know that red pandas are extremely endangered, they are even a part of IUCN!

    #6. Old:Here are some more facts that i’m positive you will be loving!
    New: Here are some more facts that i’m positive you’re starving your head of for!

    Closing

    #1. Old: What can you do to make a red panda survive?
    New: What can you do to make a red panda be happy, will it make a difference?

    #2. Old: Lastly, the red panda can weigh up to 20 pounds.
    New: Lastly, the red panda’s weight can weigh up to 12-20 pounds!! Amazing!!

    #3. Old: This is very important to the red panda.
    New: “Have you ever heard of a mountain lion and it’s family resting in someones backyard? You might think that the loin and it’s family is taking over the house, but really it’s us that’s taking over them” -Author.

    #4. Old: This is the meaning go the red pandas life!
    New: And finally after about 90 days, they have earned full color adult fur, and have started to eat solid food! Yay! Bamboo for a red pandas!!





    ReplyDelete
  13. 1. Old: Tigers are able to jump high, run fast and sneak past the enemy
    2. New One thing you might know is how high a tiger can jump, how fast they can run or how they sneak past an enemy
    3. Old: When a tiger is sneaking up on it’s prey or it’s sneaking away from it’s predator it's got to do it in a special way
    4. New: Sneaking past an enemy or on a prey, you have to do it in a special way
    5. Old: Tigers are very fascinating creatures and are very important to the world
    6. New: Do you know how important tiger are to the world, more than you would think
    7. Old Every move a tiger makes is for it’s survival but what they don’t know it that were watching them.
    8. New When a tiger is sneaking up or away on a prey or predator, it does it for it's own survival
    9. Old Now these were some cool things that you probably learned
    10. New I hope that you learned something from this experriense
    11. Old You know that house you live in, that is your habitat
    12. New That house you live in, that is your forest, or your habitat

    2.

    1.These are just a couple places that I found and I don’t want to tell you because if I tell you everything than what’s there to learn.
    2.I hope you have learned something from this
    3.Now these were some cool things that you probably learned
    4.Every move a tiger makes is for it’s survival but what they don’t know it that were watching them

    ReplyDelete
  14. Old: Black Rhinos are majestic animals that are now thankfully protected by the law so that people can not hunt them.
    New: Thankfully the majestic Black Rhino is now protected by the law so people can't hunt poach them.
    Old: Black Rhinos are relatively solitary animal coming together only to mate which happens when they are 10-12 years old.
    New: Black Rhinos are relatively solitary animal because they only com together to mate which happens when they are 10-12.
    Old: Sadly there are only 5,000 Black Rhinos left alive because of the years between 1970 and 1992 when 96% of the population died.
    New: Unfortunately there are only 5,000 Black Rhinos alive because between the years 1970 and 1992 96% of the population died.
    Old: Adult Black Rhinos can be huge!
    New: Adult Black Rhinos are the second second largest land animal which is Huge!
    Old: Black Rhinos walk or run on four legs.
    New: Black Rhinos run and walk on their four short stumpy legs.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Directions.
    1. How would you react to a monkey with white sideburns? Amazed, afraid, awestruck?
    2.Many people think of monkeys as naughty, nasty, tricky animals that started the human evolution
    3. The Francois Langur is a herbivore.
    3b. The Francois Langur is a herbivore. To be more specific it eats leaves, fruits, flowers, cultivated crops, insects, and in captivity monkey chow. As the name leaf monkey shows, leaves are the main part of a Francois Langurs diet.
    4. After the langur is done chewing its food , it’s up to the first stomach to break down these leaves (nothing like the lettuce humans eat) using a special kind of bacteria, after which the food moves on to the second stomach chamber which is somewhat similar to ours. ( Job wise. )
    4b. After the langur is done chewing its food, it’s up to the first stomach to break down the leaves (nothing like the lettuce humans eat) and other materials using a special kind of bacteria, after that, the food moves on to the second stomach chamber which is somewhat similar to ours. ( Job wise. )
    5. On the rocky cliffs of Southern China, central Laos, Vietnam. and Guanxi province, you might be lucky to spot a Black and white Francois Langur amongst the trees, or clinging onto a rocky cliff.
    5b. On the rocky cliffs of Southern China, central Laos, Vietnam, or Guanxi province, you might be lucky enough to spot a Black and white Francois Langur amongst the trees, rocky cliffs.
    6. As you can see, the Francois Langur is much more than its appearance lets out.
    6b. As you can see the Francois Langur is much more than it shows.

    ReplyDelete